Last times

Today was my last Monday at Mulga Bore. Tomorrow will be my last Tuesday. On the weekend as I drove back out to Utopia from Alice Springs I realised that it would be the last time I would drive back to Utopia. Of course I'm being melodramatic. It might not be my last time doing any of these thiings. I might end up back out here. But nothing is sure. I guess if I think about it I have been experiencing Last Times for a while now - last winter in the desert, last time at Ti tree Sports, last Christmas concert, last time wrapping Christmas presents for 50 kids (not so sad about that one!), last hunting trip, last time listening to bad country/gospel music, last time making fritz sandwiches (not too sad about that one either!!) Maybe the noting of Last Times is our way of making sure the passing of a significant moment doesn't pass us by? As we were cleaning the school today and I was joking around with my Senior girls one of them said to me suddenly 'Lisa stop'. I have heard this phrase before, usually when I'm driving the car and someone see's a goanna crossing the road, but the tone was different this time. I said to her 'stop what?'. 'Stop here' she replied, 'Dont go'. 'But I have to go and have a rest' was all I could think to reply, quickly adding 'I might come back'. 'You wont' she answered with the voice of someone who has been promised such things before and been let down. And my heart broke a little bit. And I wonder to myself why I'm not 'stopping'?
Last times are hard. Leaving is hard.